Evolved To Wonder

My writing here has lapsed again, because unfortunately when things get crazy this activity has to be the first one to go. (Well, that and the volunteering, which I have had to give up for the time being.) My anxiety got out of control last week for the first time in months, and I thought I might decide to put writing on hiatus altogether, and that I would sit out the next season of hockey. Then I had a rethink and decided that this would be precisely the right time to try to re-establish some balance, when things feel the most out of control, rather than completely immersing myself in the thing that is stressing me out (the lab).

But I did need a bit of a break, so I’ve taken a quiet two weeks, not pushing myself to get up for yoga and rather sleeping an extra hour, and coming home from work and turning off the brain. Consequently I’m almost caught up on watching Lost, which actually probably contributes to my anxiety because that show is totally infuriating. How I love Sawyer though. I think it’s the dimples and the nicknames.

I have a new student who comes to my sessions twice a week for SAT II Chemistry prep. It is ridiculous how much I love this job. I find myself prepping lessons in my head while I’m falling asleep and while I’m in the shower. I wouldn’t want this to be the only job I had, but I feel like I could work at a place like this forever. I wonder if I could teach at a college level, run a tutoring business, and be a writer all at once. Hahaaha, oh I slay me.

Anyway, in the nearer future, more busy times are ahead. Tuesday night Dana and I will drive to Sacramento to see my sister in her new show Wednesday morning. Then the three of us will spend the afternoon in Napa where I won’t get to taste wine because I have to drive, but I certainly will get to buy some. We’ll drive back that night even though that’s a little crazy, because I have to be at work the next day. Then Thursday evening I am playing in what is effectively a championship hockey game, where I will try not to be useless even though I’m sure to be exhausted. I am not a competitive person at all, but I am surprising myself at how much I want to win. I think it has to do with never having been on a winning team at anything ever.

The following week one of my favorite people in the universe, my cousin Tyler, is bringing his girlfriend Jenny out for a long weekend. Tyler has been a loyal friend since I was 9ish and he was 3ish and I played peekaboo with him at Grammy’s house for one epic afternoon. Now he’s a grownup with a law degree and a house. Sheesh. I think Joshua Tree National Park is on the agenda, so I’m excited about that. We’ll probably spend an afternoon/evening in LA too, which reminds me that I need to figure out where in LA to take straight people. Hmm.